Released: September 11, 2009
Review by: Rick Romonowski
Sorority Row… what a terrible, awful, distasteful, disaster of a movie… but I liked it. Yeah, I liked it because of those exact reasons and it was fun, but in no way a serious horror movie or a serious slasher movie for that fact. The plot follows the exact same plot as I Know What You Did Last Summer, in fact, it’s sort of a rip off. As a prank to get back at a cheating boyfriend the sorority sisters have one of their friends pretend to be dead. While looking for something to dismember the body with, the unknowing boyfriend uses a tire axe to pierce the lungs eventually killing her for real. Now, after the group has sworn to secrecy the supposed dead body of the sisters is stalking and killing off the people who murdered her.
This movie was your typical sex fueled, pointless slasher flick with glossy, stereotypically hot college sorority girls… the epitome of what a 80’s slasher was, so in a way this movie was a perfect throwback to the 80’s hack and slash genre. But, what bugged me through out the entire film was how this whole thing played out and how the movie wants you to feel sorry for these girls when it truly is their fault. Their logic when trying to figure out what to do with the body and how to get through this was so flawed, it was laughable. With the aside now, lets look at the acting and the dialogue… sarcasm and really bad puns don’t belong in a movie of this caliber but it made the movie watchable… otherwise, it would be boring.
I really hated the killer in this movie… even more than the fisherman-type killer or the traditional slasher look, I mean, you have to be running out of ideas when you use a custom tire axle as a weapon. Another thing that I had a problem with was the kills in this movie, they were really stupid and none of them were really memorable; even some of the most pointless slashers has at least one memorable kill scene.
Overall, the characters were flawed, stupid and pointless, the kills were bad and the whole plot was a disaster. These girls deserved everything they got and I had a lot of fun listening to the bad puns and sarcasm that shouldn’t really even be there in the first place. I don’t recommend seeing this movie in the theater, wait till you can see it in the library but when you do watch it… you’ll have fun… don’t take it seriously. It’s going to be one of those movies that are so bad… it’s good, and it’s going to be a cult classic later which is funny, since the first one is a cult classic as well.
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